The Pelican’s Briefs

Not altogether long ago the Mormon mass of flesh moved across the face of North America like so many amphibians looking for a pond to dunk their heads in.

They found it in Salt Lake City where they raised up a powerful and inbred civilization in the middle of the desert.

Yes, the sons of those first Utah pioneers have attended decade after decade to the University known as Bring ‘em Young. Named after the founder of the Mormon Church – Bring ‘em Young, who, by using the opportunities of remote location and the Bible was able to forge a society of men that would take and marry girl children and turn them into mindless automatons capable of regurgitating at the snap of your fingers any message from the Bible that had been drilled into their soft little heads.

It was this forward thinking Mormon man who, upon being handed the tablets of behavior from the Angel Moroni promptly lost them along the way.

The long history of Mormon adherence to a few simple principles and a few simple minded children – has caused a virtual explosion in the desert.

The practicing of Bring ‘em Young haven’t been without dangers however. Autism and mental illness have dogged the Mormons ever since they got together in the first place – and it’s clearly not just because of all that sun as their neighbors are fond of saying.

No – it’s not.

Now that this nation is finally on track to moral and right living it is time to disband and disperse the corrupt and perverted church of the Mormon heathen. It is time to knock one stone from another in the Bring ‘em Young University and to arrest, jail and disperse all of the base and low individuals of the Mormon Church spread throughout Montana, Idaho, Colorado, Wyoming and Utah.

They threaten the very fabric of our nation with their perversions of faith and their sins before our God.

With this new birth in our nation let it not be aborted for the sake of money and cash and the ill will of cash rich men like the Mormons in the United States Chamber of Commerce. Let us burst the bonds of sin that they have shackled upon the earth and cease to allow brother to marry sister and father to marry daughter and son to marry aunt and mother. It is time to strike their sin from the face of the earth.

The Mormon Church is in the business of sin and all of its cash and property should be taxed. They owe back taxes for decades and should be made to pay for their sinful behavior and their free living.

It is time to set this nation right and the Mormon Church is going to be the best example to show the world that we mean business.

It has already been said that Karl Rove – from Utah – has begun the process to pull down the statue of the Native American Princess that adorns our nation’s capitol and replace it with the likeness of the Angel Moroni – the demon that Bring ‘em Young claims to have been visited by and given tablets of behavior from God.

Another - Governor Mitt Romney of Massachusettes, has quietly hidden his own beliefs. One thing the Mormons believe is that you can become a God on earth - keep that in mind as Romney continues his move toward the Presidency and advances to the White House.

We cannot allow them to continue to dirty our nation, our history and our laws.